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Archive for the 'Toon' Category

Porn Perfect Pairs

ALL, Toon

The world is full of lonely people who think that they will never find anyone that they can share their lives with…

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It has been said many times that no matter who you are or what you look like there is always at least one person out there that is the perfect match for you.  It may sound trite and condescending but as we can see at least this happy horny couple found that it was true for them

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Adult Swing Things

ALL, Toon

Some people (anal-retentive, humorless no fun types) often say that when you leave childhood you should leave your toys and other childish things behind you.

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These sexy swingers show that some toys can remain and stand the tests of time and age…they just get different uses and I guess can’t be called childish things cos when used this way they are adult things.

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Here Cums The Money

ALL, Toon

I’ve seen and heard a lot of strange things about rituals and superstitions that people embark on to improve their luck or karma or whatever you want to call it…most of these superstitious rituals seem pointless and trite to me.

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This guy here though…whether his way of doing things (getting a blowjob to help with predictions) works or not…yknow his personal semen stock is going to split for sure.

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Less QQ…More Pew Pew

ALL, Toon

Ahhh..another french cartoon that demonstrates the idiocy, laziness and apathy of the french men…at last count most women in North America when asked to name a sexy frenchman that you see on tv nowadays could only name Pepe Le Pew.

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If the sexual apathy there is really so intense that this guy can sit there smoking and watching tv while he has a hot babe with her holes filled with huge dildos and her juices covering these Phallic fuck-toys…no wonder a cartoon skunk is considered hotter than any living contemporary frenchie.

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Sinful Syntax

ALL, Toon

Well this cop is almost right in pulling this couple over for erratic driving…just his syntax is a little off…

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Later on I’m sure he will realize that in order to properly file his paperwork on stopping them it should read ‘pulled over for erotic driving’ instead of erratic driving.

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The Facts of Life

ALL, Toon

College is looming around the corner for many young people after this weekend…off they go to the Institutes of Higher Learning to become doctors, lawyers, dentists, teachers…following their career dreams and reaching for the sky.

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Sadly most of them will wash out and fall in the gutters of life instead with student loans and no careers beyond asking if I ‘want fries with that’ and would I like it supersized.  For those unlucky ones I hope that they learn the lesson these college kids are learning….when you run out of money a clever woman can always find a way to pay the rent

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To Die or Not To Die…

ALL, Toon

People so many times say “yeah when I die, I want it to be while having sex…now that’s the way to go.”  Now generally we can all agree though that this isn’t a good way to die and you’re going to mess up whatever chick you are fucking by kicking the bucket on her when you cum.

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But IF your orgasm is THIS intense that your cock goes shooting off of you when you cum like some NASA rocket launch…then yeah I could pass up the rest of my life and say to hell with some traumatized bimbo in return for an orgasm like that.

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Sock It To Me

ALL, Toon

Back in that etheral era known as The 60’s they had a rather risque (for it’s time) comedy show called, ‘Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In’….it was pretty hip for it’s time…during the show they had a segment where the phrase ‘Sock It To Me’ was spoken by English actress Judy Carne who became known as the Sock-It-To-Me Girl…She would appear and chant the phrase until, ever unsuspecting, something happened to her……

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I think it would be cool if they brought back a version of the show but the sock it to me part be like this…hot chick with a sock on appearing and chanting “sock it to me” until someone comes up behind her and socks it to her by fucking her silly.

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Porn Party Pranks

ALL, Toon

Yknow how the rest of us settle for putting the sign on the buddy’s back that says ‘kick me’  or ‘I’m an idiot’ etc ?….

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Well this is the porn star version of the same stunt…so if you ever luck out on a porn party make sure you check your pussy/cock & balls before and after unveiling them.

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Dirty Love

ALL, Toon

Now you might say that this couple is being just a bit kinky…like a bit mindblowingly so.  But listen to this you havent heard or seen anything yet…

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Check out the Jenny McCarthy movie ‘Dirty Love’…she does a dude who has a freaking salmon up his ass…no lie dude.

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Twisted Opportunities

ALL, Toon

It’s things like this that show just how messed up and twisted our world and people’s proiorites as well as business senses are…

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Two dudes who are well enough hung to get their cocks tied together and a)this chick doesnt make the most out of the funnest action she will get this month and b) the dudes dont realize that with 14″ cocks they could be getting paid and getting laid in porn themselves !

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Happy Horny Hippies

ALL, Toon

Generally I and I’m sure most of my generation has nothing but contempt for these young teen/tweens nowadays who have suddenly decided that they are hippies and being a hippy equals getting stoned all the time and thats it.

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Then you come across these little wood nymph hippy chicks who are all into being one with nature which to them also means being naked all the time…as long as they also know about the free love beliefs they can call themselves whatever kinda hippy they want and as long as they are fucking me I’m hip with it.

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Words Are Cheap

ALL, Toon

Yknow you hear chicks talk about how guys are bragging and bullshitting about our sexual adventures as though we had to actually make them up and like they aren’t all real and true…

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Meanwhile nowadays you get all these milf stories about women getting packages or pizzas or plumbers or cable guys and fucking them…as if !!  I have never in my life met a woman who has the brazen confidence to get it on with one of these guys like in those stories and I bet that they are as full of it as they claim that we are.

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All in the name…

ALL, Toon

Ok, the costume is totally gay but what a list of cool names for this guy…Semen-Man, Splooge Dude, Chowder Champ, Cumalot Knight, Bukake-boy, The Squirt…the list is endless and you just know he’s gonna get more “action” than spiderman.

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